Eat Sweet Potatoes, Live 147 Years.

"Sweet potatoes are one of the highest ranked vegetables on the nutrition scale. They're essentially a perfect food; what can be termed a "superfood." They're high in fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, potassium and manganese. They can also help stabilize blood sugar, which means
they're a good choice for diabetics. They're relatively low in calories for all of the nutritional power they pack, at approximately 95 calories each."

Sweet potatoes will cure the common cold, extend your life, and curb your pretentious nature. Eat them, live longer, and annoy your friends by relentlessly badgering them to follow your example. Stare in silent discrimination of those who consume lesser foods, yours are 'super'. Sure, you'll admit fried potatoes are enticing, but you've seen Super Size Me. Even though you don't consider yourself an elitist, you know you're healthier than most, I mean, who else do you know that purposely doesn't put dressing on their salad?

So eat that potato skin, reveal that sinister smirk when you see them uneaten on others' plates, drink that glass of red wine with dinner, just one piece of dark chocolate for you, please. You'll outlive all those white bread eating, non-diet soda drinking, MSG abusing neanderthals.

They will die young.

You were right. You are better off. You are alone.